Swamiji as I Knew Him


Swamiji as I Knew Him
(part 1)

by D. S. Rao

When he completed this article in 1984, after Shivabalayogi had attained mahasamadhi, D. S. Rao had already retired from service as the manager of a five-star hotel in Bombay.

“Swamiji as I Knew Him” was published in The Shivabalayogi Journal, a newsletter distributed by the Oregon Trust from 1995 to 2000.

Om Om Om
Gurur Brahma Gurur Vishnu Gurur Devo Maheshwara
Guru Sakshat Parabrahma Tasmai Sri Gurave Namaha

Om.  Guru is Brahma, Guru is Vishnu, Guru is Shiva
Hail the Guru who is the True God

He Lives in Me

My relationship with Swamiji is just the same before and after the Mahasamadhi.  He comes very occasionally and gives guidance.  He speaks very few words.  Mostly it is in graphic visions.  He comes in dreams, in meditation and sometimes in the waking state also.  Every thought of mine and every action of mine he says he is there.  In fact it is true of all of us but the actual inner feeling comes with certain levels of mental clarity.  This is the level at which intuition also starts to operate.  Logic and intellect operate within a small circle.  Outside this circle is intuition.  He willing, it can come to anyone at any time.

He also operates through auspicious and inauspicious times of the day and a variety of other ways.  Sometimes there is a message for you when the dog barks.  Sometimes there is a message for you when the wind blows.  Such messages only you know and he knows.  No one else will know.  Sometimes when I reason out on any issue he is clearly shaping the reason.  His ways are indeed very intriguing.  Every problem gets sorted out either in meditation or otherwise.  When he feels his intervention is necessary, he will come in an astral body.  The more we are at ease with ourselves, the less he comes.  He gives you just enough time to ensure your steady progress.  If you need more time, you get it.  He does not favor any one; all are equal to him.  If Swamiji spends more time with some one we tend to feel he is favoring that person.  It is the other way around.  That person needs more time from Swamiji.  He operates through the unconscious mind.  We get to know this when out conscious mind successfully explores the unconscious mind.

He is all knowing, all powerful, and all pervading.  From him we come, in him we live, and unto him we go.  At his bidding the sun shines, at his bidding the wind blows, and at his bidding we think and act.  He is the thinker of the thought.  He is the hearer of hearing.  He is the taste of taste.  He is the touch of touch.  He is the smell of smell.  He is there before you, behind you, above you, below you, within you and without you.  Guru is God and God is Guru.  There is no doubt about it.

My Experiences with Swamiji

My association with Swamiji dates back to 1971 when I was first initiated into dhyan by Mr. Adinarayana at Bhubaneshwar.  My first leg of meditation lasted for just two years, about 400 hours of meditation.  During this period I had some wonderful experiences.  There was a pleasant sensation and smell in the throat at all times.  The skin was smelling like sandal wood.  Months after I stopped my meditation they vanished.  My second darshan of Swamiji was after nine years, in 1980.  I started my meditation again in 1981 after a gap of eight years.  During these intervening years I had undergone some structural changes in my attitudes:  no liking for crowds, satvic (peaceful) habits, less of cinemas and TV.  Extrovert nature was gradually becoming introvert.

Asking Questions

That Shivabalayogi discouraged Rao from asking his question on that occasion had to do with Rao himself.  Shivabalayogi’s meditation instructions encourage devotees to write to him with doubts about meditation experiences.
See Revealing Meditation Experiences.

Varaha Avatar supporting the earth while destroying a demon.

Varaha & Venkateshwara

Rao refers to two incarnations (avatars) of God Vishnu.  Tirumala is the site of the famous temple to Lord Venkateshwara.  Varaha, like Rama and Krishna, is one of the ten major avatars.  Vishnu incarnated as a wild boar, Varaha, to protect the Earth.

Again when I started my meditation in 1981 I just informed Swamiji by letter.  The very next day his shakti powers started operating in me.  I used to sit in the morning and evening for two hours.  Once I close my eyes I just cannot open them for the two hour duration.  By then I was still not perfect in my asana, my sitting posture.  So I was struggling for months to find a comfortable way to sit for these two hours.  Suddenly one day I saw Swami in a dream sitting in a chair and meditating.  Then I understood I could sit in a chair and meditate.  That solved the problem.  When I checked with Swamiji He said seat is unimportant.  Your willingness and duration are more important.  My second phase of meditation lasted for over ten years, a little over 10,000 hours of meditation.  One day Swamiji’s Guru (jangama devara, in the form of an ascetic devoted to Shiva) came in dream and indicated that I stop my meditation, which I did.  Then I was into bhakti yoga, the practice of devotion.  After about a year Swamiji sent a message through my son to restart but keep it on a low key.  Now I am on to karma yoga, the practice of selfless service.  He only knows what is good for me.  I do what He says; at least, that is my endeavor.

I received my first spiritual instruction from Swamiji in a dream.  After months also I did not understand it correctly.  When I went for His darshan in Bangalore I tried to broach the subject.  His face at once became red and very angry.  I quickly changed the subject.  He was His normal self once again.  Then I understood that spiritual instruction is something which you cannot discuss even with Swamiji.  From that day on I am tight lipped as far as my encounters with Swamiji are concerned.  I did not share any of my experiences even with members of my family.  As Swamiji now wants us to share our experiences, I am willing to express some of them which are not of the nature of spiritual instruction.

One day He was sitting in my room with looking glasses.  Then I suddenly realized I have to go to an opthamologist.  The very next day I got my glasses. Such experiences are innumerable.  When I received the invitation for the birthday function on January 24, 1994, I made a suggestion to Swamiji that I would go to Bangalore only if Swamiji wanted me to do so.  The next day he came in dream standing in the Tirumala Hills next to Varaha Swami.  Swamiji told me He is going in three weeks time.  That would be February 2, 1994.  [Shivabalayogi dropped his physical form on March 28, 1994.]  Then another person, a Divine Being standing a little way from Swamiji, sprinkled holy water on me indicating suddhi, purification.  This meant that I have to go to Tirumala, have a dip in the pushkarini pond, have darshan of Varaha Swami, Lord Venkateshwara, and then go to Swamiji for darshan.  I did just that.

At the darshan time I told Swamiji about my arrival and took His permission to leave the next day.  I got His approval in His looks only.  He had no words and I also had no words.  That was my last darshan of Swamiji.  He knew it and I also knew it.  The date did not tally but that is not important.  Swamiji actually left the date floating to be decided by the two opposing forces, the Divine Will on the one side and the devotees’ prayers on the other.  In the process He became a silent witness.  When the body no longer supported Him, then He went into yoga nidra, yogic sleep.  Such matters of controversy have to be resolved internally through meditation rather than do it externally.  For that matter, any controversy has to be resolved only internally.  This is true of every one who meditates regularly.  Swamiji is emphatic that one should meditate and experience the truths rather than go by others’ experiences.

As I see now, Swamiji’s movement will first spread in the West and then come to India.  Some time back a mahatma great soul said that Hindus will practice Hinduism only if the Westerners practice it first.  Through Swamiji’s movement this seems to become a reality.  Only when the yoga asanas [postures, i.e., hatha yoga physical exercise] became popular in the West did they come back to India in the 1970’s with full vigor.  It will not be a surprise if it happens with meditation also.  The West is better equipped to conduct the needed research into meditation and then launch it like any other commercial product launches.  Media publicity is necessary for market penetration to reach the target audience.