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You Find the Self You Seek

“There are different kinds of Self realization.  There are some who realize themselves, and there are some who realize themselves and teach a lot of other people.  It depends on what they ask when they see God.  That decides whether they are going to come out into the world and serve the people or whether they are just going to remain by themselves.”

“If you are doing tapas or meditation for a particular purpose then you will get that only.  God will give them the duty and the power according to their desire.”

“If a person does tapas with a desire in mind and attains God realization, then that person can become God.  Swamiji did not do tapas with any desire for himself.  He was made to do tapas so he did not have any desire in mind when he had God realization.  Under such circumstances, the person who does tapas becomes an agent of God and can serve all the people.”

“If you want liberation you have to do tapas and then you’ll have to ask God to liberate you without further births or deaths.  But if you do tapas and still don’t ask God, then he won’t give you liberation.”

“The person’s future life depends on what is asked of God.  If you want to become a creator then you will become a creator.  Whatever you ask for, you will go into that line.” 

Quietly known among devotees was Shivabalayogi’s disappointment with some tapasvins who completed many years of tapas, even twelve years.

After about two or three years into one devotee’s tapas, Swamiji called some devotees together and asked them to visit the tapasvin to see how the tapas was progressing.  Swamiji told the devotees that the tapasvin was not putting any effort into the tapas.  It was he who was doing all the work.  This person “is beginning to get powers,” Swamiji explained, “and it is very important for [this person] to be careful and remain humble before the guru.”  He gave them some vibhuti to take to the tapasvin.  When these devotees arrived, the tapasvin immediately said, “So, he has sent you to spy on me,” and the tapasvin refused to take the vibhuti.  The devotees left and reported back to Swamiji.  He told them that they should not to visit that person again.  This tapasvin completed twelve years of meditation, but Swamiji declared the tapas a failure.  Although the tapasvin attained local recognition and respect as a yogi, the guru was disappointed.

Shivabalayogi declared the twelve year tapas of another tapasvin to be successful, but he became disappointed in his disciple.  Swamiji complained that after he put the devotee through tapas, instead of asking what his guru wanted in return, the tapasvin asked Swamiji for an ashram and an automobile. 

When Swamiji was very sick after 1991, a devotee visited the Bangalore ashram.  This devotee had been initiated into tapas by Swamiji and completed twelve years of tapas.  Swamiji publicly declared that this man had successfully completed tapas.  He met with Swamiji privately, and after the tapaswin left, several of us went inside Swamiji’s room and were sitting with him.

Swamiji asked us whether we knew why the tapaswin had come.  Swamiji answered his own question.

“He came to ask for Swamiji’s ashrams.  He is a devotee who knows how to sit in tapas, so he could do tapas to help his guru. But instead of wanting to serve his guru, he wants to succeed him.”

 

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Divine Play:   Shivabalayogi’s life and blessings, 290 pages and over a hundred photos.  Generally available in bookstores and online.

Swamiji’s Treasure:  The most comprehensive collection of biography, experiences, conversations & photographs of Shivabalayogi.

Tapas Shakti:  Published at Swamiji’s request in India, January of 1992.  Contains his biography, conversations & experiences.